I was scrolling through Facebook and saw this post about “the box”. I really knew what they were talking about, because it is true for so many of us.
My box has overflowed too many times. My box is useful, but it is also hurtful when it overflows.
Some of the things I have put in there take up a lot of room, so the smaller things I stuff in full in the corners and cracks between.
Sooner or later, the big stuff start to rise to the top and things spill out. The little things that spill out I can deal with pretty well… usually.
But when one of the big ones get out, it puts me in a bad place. I change. I lash out over small things at the ones I love. I get into self-destructive behaviors. Drinking, over-eating, spending time away from home for no reason, wasting money, riding my Harley way too fast (fun, but not always safe).
Then something happens that wakes me up. Sometimes it’s a spiritual 2x4 that hits me across the back of the head. Sometimes it’s the right word at the right time that gets me talking about it.
Then, I can process and get it back in the box where it belongs. Or even, let it go completely.
I have always been an emotional guy. Anger, sadness, frustration, and fear are old friends of mine. But so are laughter, happiness, joy, and love.
It’s hard to remember how much I am loved, how much I love others, when I’m in the middle of my garbage.
But when I get out of my box stuff, get it under control again, and see what I have going good in my life, all the happiness, joy, and love comes back.
I get back to living.
Now, I might have led you to believe that I am able to get this mess called “my life” back in line all by myself. Truth is, I have an amazing wife, some great kids, friends who are there, and a church full of understanding folks.
I don’t do it alone.
Help can come from all sides and doesn’t always need to be a big, drama-filled event. I also had a few rounds with an EAP counselor that didn’t judge me and made it easy to talk.
You just gotta find one that gets it, that has heard some of the scariest, most twisted, evil things. Maybe second hand, but they have their boxes too, they understand what it is like.
The box can help, but sometimes you need others to help you, also. You don’t have to figure it out by yourself. Reach out.
If you find that the information here brought up some stuff you are struggling with, either individually or in your relationship, please do not hesitate to reach out to us for help. We at Code 3 Counseling are here to support you, and we understand that this can be a challenging issue to face.