Marriage Counseling

Code 3 Counseling is now the

Monterey Regional Center


Restoration FirstResponder Centers

Relationships are hard. This is even more true for first responder couples. You try so hard to support each other, to keep each other strong. Especially when the world is against both of you for serving in this calling. But the way the job impacts your life, it's overwhelming. Where is the fulfillment? The joy? Why do we both feel so alone? You both have needs that aren't being met. You don't feel understood by your partner. You feel lost. And you don't know how to navigate these waters by yourself. You just can't keep going like this.
When you fight, it gets ugly. It goes against everything you have tried to build in your marriage. Or maybe, you don't even talk enough to have a fight. You avoid interactions in order to avoid the arguments. Somewhere along the way, you lost each other. And now, you can't seem to get back on track. You have tried everything, from self-help books to talking with friends, and nothing seems to make it better. The job of the responder doesn't help. If anything, you resent the job for the way it is tearing your relationship apart. All the mandatory overtime, the inconsistent hours creating inconsistent sleep patterns and unhelpful family interactions, it is as if your responder’s calling in life has set your marriage up for failure.

But there is hope! You do not have to do this alone! You can reignite the fire and fall in love all over again!

You can heal and restore your marriage.

Photo of a couple laying in bed enjoying more intimacy together after receiving marriage counseling.

You don't have to be married to enjoy the gift of couples counseling. Whether you have been together for two months or two decades, counseling will help you to connect on a deeper level than you ever thought possible. Couples counseling can help both of you to strengthen your communication, use conflict (yes, I said conflict) to bring you closer together, and find joy in your relationship. As a first responder couple, you have the ability to create a bond that is stronger than any other kind of marriage. And you can find it together.
At Code 3 Counseling, we understand the first responder lifestyle in ways most professionals can't imagine. We are able to genuinely meet you where you are at. We can help to heal the hurts that you have experienced together, whether these hurts are recent or have been slowly built over the years. You will find the fulfillment in your relationship that you have longed for.
In counseling sessions, we work with you on finding ways to connect and overcome the barriers of the first responder lifestyle. Some of the ways we do this includes helping you to strengthen communication, increase intimacy, and provide hope for the future. To live in a first responder marriage that brings meaning and passion to your life.

Whether you are dating, engaged, married, or in a committed relationship, marriage counseling is for you! We use approaches that are based on decades of research, and we know it will help you. Our ways of working with couples has been proven to work with first responder couples.
For those first responder couples of the Christian faith, we are also able to incorporate biblical truths with your sessions. Our hope is that you can experience transformative power in the love of Jesus, and that He will breathe life into your service marriage!

Are you ready to give your marriage what it needs?

We offer free 20-minute consultations with our incredible team who can help you understand if couples counseling would benefit your relationship. 

How can marriage counseling help my relationship?

Whether you are just starting your relationship, or have been together for a lifetime, couples counseling can help you both:

Increase your intimacy. You can find a deep level of connection and intimacy (both emotional and sexual) after going through marriage counseling. Even with the crazy ways the job can impact your relationship.
Strengthen your partnership. Sometimes couples need support in finding ways to be on the same team. You can strengthen those connections to fight the battle against the world together in ways you hadn’t thought possible.
Strengthen your communication. When you go through counseling together, you both can develop new ways of connecting and communicating with each other that are realistic with the lifestyle. Not all tools are created equal for this in the first responder world.

Photo of black couple standing closely and hugging each other, happy after successfully completing marriage counseling.

Strengthen your trust. Many couples struggle with building trust, especially when you work in a field where you can't trust anyone. You can learn ways of strengthening your trust with each other, whether it has been broken or simply strained by the responder lifestyle.
Find your purpose together. When working in the first responder world, we can often lose focus on the reasons we chose to be together. You can connect in ways that help you both find meaning and purpose in your relationship. When you do this, you both can create a community of love and support beyond just your marriage.

What can marriage counseling do for first responder couples?

You don’t have to be married to come in for couples counseling. There are many reasons first responder couples find counseling to be helpful. The first responder lifestyle can create even more challenging stressors for you both. Here are a few reasons counseling can help you in your relationship:

  • ● Manage your conflict in a healthier way.

    Conflict is something you cannot avoid in a relationship. It can help you or it can hurt you. Through counseling, you can learn new ways of using conflict to become closer with your spouse, rather than conflict tearing you apart.

  • ● Learn how to live the responder life together.

    In the first responder world, you can often feel pressured to put the job first. We can guide you in being able to support both of your dreams and hopes and needs. You can gain understanding and a deep attachment that you have been missing for quite some time.

  • ● Prepare your relationship for the next step.

    This is especially true for couples who are not yet married but are considering a deeper commitment to their relationship. Counseling can help you to build a strong foundation for a lifetime of intimacy and commitment.

  • ● Restore your marriage. 

    Whether you have been struggling with communication or addiction or infidelity, you can find ways to heal old wounds and develop a bond that is unlike any other marriage.

  • ● Get into a rhythm that works for both of you.

    Whether you have been living in the first responder life for a little while or for many years, you can find a rythym that feels fulfilling and satisfying for both of you. One that can be flexible with the constant changes you face in the first responder life.

Let's talk about how we can help you give your marriage all it deserves!

We offer free 20-minute consultations with our incredible team who can help you understand if couples counseling would benefit your relationship. 

Marriage Counseling sessions last between 50-90 minutes. To know the fees and costs for sessions, look here. Sessions occur on average once every week or two weeks, but we can also schedule these less often for those who have shiftwork schedules that make it difficult to plan regular sessions. Based on your goals and treatment needs, counseling can be as brief as 8-10 sessions or can be longer-term over a year or two.

Still not sure about it?

We offer a free 20-minute consultation for those interested in services. It will give you a chance to describe your particular issue, ask any questions about our experience, and help you feel more comfortable with us.

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years."

Simone Signoret


Serving folks in person in the Monterey Bay Area and online throughout the State of California.

You don't have to figure this out on your own. We are ready to meet you. To start your journey towards freedom, follow these easy steps:

    Contact Code 3 Counseling by email, give us a call, or schedule a free consultation now!
    Get connected with our team of competent and qualified counselors.
    Start winning the battle and defeating the obstacles that are keeping you from a free and peaceful life!

Code 3 Counseling is now the

Monterey Regional Center


Restoration FirstResponder Centers